Top Banner 1

He Said, She Said Review Site

Conan (2011)

What He said:


I only saw the original Conan (review here) for the first time this past winter. While I enjoyed it, I don’t have a history with it. It wasn’t something I grew up on and look a through the eyes of someone who did.

I had also heard that this movie was closer to the stories written by Robert E. Howard. While I never read them, I always heard the Arnold movies were more vehicles for showcasing him rather than “Conan” films.

There isn’t a lot of good fantasy out there either. It’s simply not a genre that has produced a lot of quality movies.

My point being is that I was ready to like this movie. I enjoyed the Arnold movie quite a bit, but don’t have a bias against this one because it’s a remake. This was also supposedly closer to the source material, which meant it was a different story than the Arnold movie and I welcomed that. I was also in the mood for a good fantasy and since there aren’t many, I was more than willing to give this a chance. I was primed and ready to enjoy it.


Conan (played by Leo Howard early on) is a young boy in a warrior tribe. His father (played by Ron Perlman) is their leader. Conan seems eager to prove himself as a warrior and is actually really is one bad-ass little dude. He’s pretty much the toughest of the young potential warriors and could give some of the adults a run for their money too. During one of the trails (to prove themselves worthy as fighting alongside the adults) his people are attacked by a savage group of people from another clan/tribe. They are very animalistic in their behavior and actions. All of the other youngsters are afraid and retreat back to the village, but Conan takes them on without hesitation.  It pretty much cements his reputation as an up-and-coming warrior.

Well it turns out those savages were foot soldiers for a larger force. They were sent on behalf of a warlord named Khalar Zym. Zym (Stephen Lang) is an aspiring rule and self-proclaimed king. He travels across the land, conquering villages, adding them to his own forces, and killing them if they refuse to join. Conan’s village is next on the list. It doesn’t end well for Conan’s people.


Fast-forward several years and Conan (now played by Jason Momoa) has fallen in with a group of pirates. They are kind of “good pirates” though. Sure, the like drinking, fighting, and women, but they have standards. They do stuff like set slaves free from their evil masters. While out on one of their missions, Conan encounters one of the guys he recognizes from the group who destroyed his village as a child. He parts ways with his pirate buddies and begins his life-long quest for revenge.

Along the way he meets a priestess – and obligatory love interest – Tamara. Zym is looking for Tamara (Rachel Nichols) for some reason and once Conan finds that out, he plans on using that to his advantage. He hopes to lure Zym  into a trop and get the revenge he has wait for most of his life.

I don’t really have too much to say about this movie. I thought it started out ok, but got very ordinary and uninteresting after a short while. It was never particularly original, but I was at least interested in the beginning. I thought the kid playing the younger Conan did a better job than Momoa did. Both Stephen Lang and Rachel Nichol’s characters and performances were very bland. They were just simply there, they didn’t stand out in any way, shape, or form. Not the worst movie I have ever seen, but just very cardboard and generic.

Rating: Thumbs down.

This movie review was written for your reading pleasure on September 13, 2013.