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Legion

Legion

What he said:

He

In Legion, God decides he's tired of humanity antics and decides to have it wiped out by his army of angels. His only problem is that Michael - the angel of all angels - has decided he doesn't agree with this and is taking a stand!

Sounds exciting, right? Well it starts off that way with a scene in a diner involving a bunch of strangers and a creepy old lady. When the S hits the fan, it's initially pretty fun. Unfortunately it's all downhill from there.

Exit fun, interesting, stuff, enter matter-of-fact and boring action. Have you ever seen a movie where the character just seems to be in no real danger? They never miss a shot; take out loads of bad guys with a single punch, essentially walking their way to safety? Yeah, that's this movie. Plus the story was also pretty unclear in parts.

God wanted to wipe out mankind. I get that. The rest is pretty fuzzy and I wasn't all that interested in figuring it out.

Rating: Thumbs down.

This movie review was written for your reading pleasure on November 22, 2010.

What she said:

She

Lots of blood, lots of sweat, and lots and lots of gore, so how is it possible to get bored? That's what I keep asking myself after wasting two hours of my life watching Legion. Actually, I didn't waste the full two hours. There was a period of about 20 minutes or so where I fell asleep. I'm assuming those were the really awesome 20 minutes where the whole movie came together and everything made sense. I know I'm probably wrong.

Legion starts out with a bang. You really start to think all those negative critics reviews got it wrong. But indeed, they were correct. This film gets slow and repetitive. And worse, the plot gets super loopy.

Here are the basics. So these people are all at Paradise Falls, a remote highway rest-stop/diner when hell's demons take over the planet. They have to ward off these evil zombie-like killers, while saving humanity. Apparently, this pregnant waitress holds the key to continued human life. It's her unborn child. Beyond that, I was totally confused. Paul Bettany shows up as the angel/bodyguard Michael, although he isn't exactly forthright in explaining what the heck is going on. Lots of shooting and lots of severed limbs, but not a lot of excitement. Again, I wonder if that's even possible.

I know that I should go back and watch the part of this film that I slept through, but honestly, it was bad enough that I really don't want to. I'm just going to steer clear of this heaping pile of dung for now, and maybe someday, if I'm really, really bored and Legion is airing on one of the free movie channels, I'll catch up on what I missed.

Diagnosis: Thumbs down.