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Mega Python vs Gatoroid

Mega Python vs Gatoroid

What he said:

He

I knew this would suck. I expected and wanted it to; and boy did it! Wow, was this one bad. Really bad. Even for a “SyFy Original”.

I don’t know exactly when it started to happen, but for a few years now SyFy (formerly SciFi) has been able to convince some relatively known people to do these movies. Lance Henrikson is one of the first that comes to mind. Barry Williams (Greg Brady), David Carradine, John Schneider (think Dukes of Hazard and Smallville), character actor Barry Corbin (you’ll recognize his face as soon as you see it) and are some of the others. Granted, these aren’t all hugely popular actors, but they aren’t people who have to do these movies.

Well I think it’s great they are willing to do these crap-fests, because it shows both they and the network are not taking the projects too seriously (which is exactly how they should treat movies like this).

Well you can add 80s pop singers Debbie Gibson and Tiffany that list. Both have done at least one previous movie with the network and someone came up with the great idea to have them faceoff with one another.

Debbie Gibson plays some extreme environmentalist who releases some kind of genetically enhanced pythons into a state protected game preserve. Tiffany plays an equally insane park ranger who’s tasked with protecting these lands, which are inhabited primarily by alligators. When Tiffany sees that her beloved gators are at an unfair advantage (because of the pythons “enhancements”) she takes matters into her own has; thus a “gatoroid” is born.

Bad CGI (and I do mean bad), even worse acting, and a few funny one-liners later and this is what you get. This is by no means a good movie, nor was it meant to be. Even so, it’s still pretty bad. But that is exactly what makes you laugh about it.

The special effects were so bad, they were epic. They look so bad, you'll find yousrelf shocked that this thing was even approved. But if you find yourself critiquing how bad everything looks you missed the point of the movie.

Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, and the writers were definitely having fun with this. There’s no way you can act seriously and have it come off this bad. It’s clearly intentional. It all comes to a head when the rivals are forced to join forces to stop the monsters, but only after the catfight everyone wanted to see.

Perhaps my favorite screw up was with the character Diego. Everyone kept insisting he was some “crazy Indian”, despite the fact that his name is Diego. Additionally, the word Indian - being an incorrect term for Native Americans - makes the mislabeling of the character even more amusing.

Rating: Thumbs half way up for making me laugh.

Written for your reading pleasure on February 7, 2011.

What she said:

He

I’m sure that, like me, you’ve wondered what would happen if you pit gigantic snakes against alligators on steroids.  Wait….you haven’t?  Well, SyFy wants you to entertain the thought…key word being “entertain.”  Mega Python vs. Gatoroid bombards viewers with second-rate special effects, a ridiculously dumb storyline, and some of the world’s worst dialogue possible, in what is one of the network’s most hilarious offerings yet. 

The movie stars Syfy and teen-pop veterans Tiffany and Deborah/Debbie Gibson, who are enemies vying for dueling conservation priorities.  Gibson wants to save the pythons, and so in an act of revolt releases a whole bunch of lab specimens into the Everglades.  Tiffany, meanwhile is the head ranger/sheriff of the Everglades, and has a deep passion for the native alligators.  Melee ensues when the giant pythons begin killing and eating the gators.  In a well-hatched plan, Tiffany feeds the gators experimental steroids in an effort to give them a leg up on their competition.  Yada, yada, yada, both animals become extremely large, kill each other, and begin to leave the park to come after new and unsuspecting victims. 

A couple of important points:  1.) This movie seems to have been sponsored by the word “bitch.”  2.) Awesome cameo by Micky Dolenz  3.) We should start calling MLB stars “playeroids” 4.) Tiffany and crew keep referring to Diego (the only character in the movie with any brains) as “The Indian”…the guy’s  name is Diego and he’s obviously Hispanic…way to go writers  5.) Actual line of dialogue from the movie- Gibson: “I think we’re alone now…”  Tiffany: “…there doesn’t seem to be anyone around.”

Obviously, this is a must see if you like these kinds of nutty Syfy flicks.  Particularly if you’re with your friends on a Friday or Saturday night, enjoying spirits, and/or having an ‘80s themed party.

Diagnosis: Thumbs up if you love cheesy Syfy movies.  Thumbs down if you don’t.