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Pandorum

Pandorum

What she said:

She

Pandorum? More like Pan-don't-um. This movie stunk. Big time. So much so that I managed to sleep through parts of it, and that's pretty much a miracle because it was deafeningly loud at times. Actually, the whole movie kinda felt like a crappy nightclub. Loud, dark, cramped, and filled with people you don't like. No seriously, this movie actually made me dislike Dennis Quaid, which I never before thought was even possible.

I wish I could comment more on the storyline, but I don't think it really had much of one. It had this thing that I think the producers and director wished they could call a plot, but it really wasn't. The movie made very little sense, and it was almost insulting at the end when the filmmakers tried to push off the whole thing as perfectly logical. Umm, no it wasn't.

Diagnosis: Thumbs way, way down

What he said:

He

When I saw the trailer for this, I thought it looked like a fairly suspenseful sci fi/horror movie. I wasn't expecting "Alien" or anything, but it looked like it could be something in the same vein. It looked simple, but dark and suspenseful.

Boy was that trailer misleading. This was bad. Real bad. Especially when they introduced *spoiler alert* those awful, unscary mutant things. They were like some bad mix of the creatures from The Descent and some kind of cyber punk wannabe. They might be the single, biggest reason this movie was so bad.

Then they had these weird, anti-climatic wire-fu fighting scenes, like something out of The Matrix. It simply did not fit with the rest of the movie.

After watching this stinker, me and Jacqui starting quoting the great Mike Dexter: "More like Pan-DON'T-um!"

Rating: I cut my thumbs off after this one.

I don't remember when I reviewed this one, because I tried to forget about it. If you have to know, we reviewed it August 5, 2010.

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