Pandorum
What she said:
Pandorum? More like Pan-don't-um. This movie stunk. Big time.
So much so that I managed to sleep through parts of it, and that's
pretty much a miracle because it was deafeningly loud at times.
Actually, the whole movie kinda felt like a crappy nightclub. Loud,
dark, cramped, and filled with people you don't like. No seriously,
this movie actually made me dislike Dennis Quaid, which I never
before thought was even possible.
I wish I could comment more on the storyline, but I don't think
it really had much of one. It had this thing that I think the
producers and director wished they could call a plot, but it really
wasn't. The movie made very little sense, and it was almost
insulting at the end when the filmmakers tried to push off the whole
thing as perfectly logical. Umm, no it wasn't.
Diagnosis: Thumbs way, way down
What he said:
When I saw the trailer for this, I thought it looked like a
fairly suspenseful sci fi/horror movie. I wasn't expecting "Alien"
or anything, but it looked like it could be something in the same
vein. It looked simple, but dark and suspenseful.
Boy was that trailer misleading. This was bad. Real bad.
Especially when they introduced *spoiler alert* those awful, unscary mutant things. They were like some bad mix of
the creatures from The Descent and some kind of cyber punk
wannabe. They might be the single, biggest reason this movie was so
bad.
Then they had these weird, anti-climatic wire-fu fighting scenes,
like something out of The Matrix. It simply did not fit
with the rest of the movie.
After watching this stinker, me and Jacqui starting quoting the
great Mike Dexter: "More like Pan-DON'T-um!"
Rating: I cut my thumbs off after this one.
I don't remember when I reviewed this one, because I tried to
forget about it. If you have to know, we reviewed it August 5, 2010.
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